FACEBOOK:
We have come to live in a time where online networking has almost killed actual social interaction. There was a time when people would gather at their favorite watering holes for a few drinks and a rousing conversation. They would go to see their favorite bands and dance until they dropped, holding that memory fast in their hearts. Now, you can walk into a bar and see ten people lined up, not saying a word to each other, holding phones or other unnecessarily expensive devices in their mitts, logging on, updating, commenting, posting, sharing, tagging, poking and all around shunning the living, breathing world around them. What happened to talking to people and making friends? Oh yeah, you can do all of that online. Why should you have to be a go-getter in the real world when you have 700+ “Friends” on Facebook?
You also go to those shows and see a bunch of phones held up in the air, taking photos and video to post on, you guessed it, Facebook. These are the same dolts that stand at the front and get pissed off at the kids trying to dance and enjoy themselves for bumping into them and blurring the picture or jogging the video. It must be so much cooler to watch a band play right in front of you and watch it through a telephone screen. Sweet!
Not only has Facebook become the esteem boosting and mind numbing social juggernaut that it is, it has also become the new “Thunder Dome”, if you will. An arena of combat for those who refuse to talk things out face to face or ball up their hands and engage in fisticuffs. I think you know what I’m talking about. You’ve seen it on homepages and in friends’ streams, where two or more people have a war of words via Facebook. One person says something derogatory about another, prompting a swift comment in defense. All of a sudden, you have yourself a schoolyard fight circle of people liking this comment and that comment, and there is always that one that leaves the “Come on, guys. You’re supposed to be friends. Why are you fighting like this?” comment. Whoever gets the most likes on their posts, or just goes for the ultimate knock-out punch and deletes the other’s profile, is the victor. What a sham. When I was coming up, you settled things flat out with words or knuckles. Anyone can be Tommy Tough-Nuts behind a keyboard.
Another odd thing about Face book is its ability to make any person become a complete saint or a complete douche within a matter of seconds. One can log onto the site and begin to scan the statuses of their “Friends” and come across something like, “My mom is in the hospital and not doing so good. Keep me in your thoughts.” and you become the biggest bleeding heart in the world with a response along the lines of, “Man, I’m sorry to hear that. Let me know if you need anything. I got you.” What you usually mean is “I’m here for you, as long as you don’t actually ask for my help. Besides, I’m not sure I actually know you, and you live in Argentina, but I got your back.” It always makes one feel better to know that you can make promises that you are sure nobody will ever cash in on.
Just as soon as you establish yourself as the saint of social networking, you scroll down a little bit and see someone post something that goes against all of your views like, “Has anyone heard the new Vampire Weekend album. So amazing!” where you then return with, “No, I haven’t because I listen to actual music,” or something along those lines. It hasn’t been but a few seconds and you go from being the nicest person on the planet to shitting all over someone because they don’t think along the same lines as you. The site pulls the best and worst out of people and leave them a miserable lump of a human being.
Facebook isn’t really a place for deep thinking, is it? I’ve seen statuses where people have spilled their guts for the whole world to see, and nobody says shit. It may be political views, emotional problems or any kind of outpouring, but it is usually overlooked. However, if you were to take a picture of a fucking sandwich and post it up, you’d get a rush of comments about how great that looks and the ever present “Yummers!” Since when is the hot topic of the day what someone had at meal time? Try this. Simply post the word “Taco” as your status and see how many comments you get. Whether or not they know what the hell you’re talking about, people will feel an overwhelming urge to let you know how much they are on the same page when it comes to the desires of the stomach. After all, eating is pretty much one of the only things folks will take a break from Facebook to do.
I rant about these things, not only as a person who is disgusted by it, but as one who has engaged in this activity myself. I spent two years constantly checking to see who left comments for me, or who liked what I left for someone else, taking surveys, updating, poking, tagging and all of that crap. So, I decided to make it my 2011 new year’s resolution to quit Facebook and deleted my account. Since then, I have found out that the things I took for granted, like my wife and kids, were far more interesting and enjoyable than a sea of insignificant skin bags on the net. I found time to read more, work more and just enjoy my life without worrying about what others would think of me enjoying my life. Sure, I could use it to promote shows or whatever, or keep up with family members, but who really says they are coming to a show on Facebook and actually goes, and when has writing a letter or dialing a phone number to keep in touch with the clan been that much of a hassle?
Social networking is a disease, and must be controlled or it will control you. I don’t expect any of you to go as far as I did and delete your profiles, but I urge you to cut back on the time that you spend glued to a computer screen and do what you did before Facebook,…….live. You won’t regret it. Cheers! – Bubbs
(Rob”Bubbs”Harris is a writer and comedian from Pensacola, FL. For feedback, hate mail, questions or just to shoot the breeze, Email themightybubbs@gmail.com )
